Posts by mb444

In this blog, I would like to share my own, personal experiences. (Although some of them I also share in the other articles on my site).

When I met my twin flame in 2023, my world turned upside down. I had been in a relationship for 11 years, and because my partner did not believe anything I went through, he traumatized me, up to the point where I no longer dared to speak with him. I had a trauma diagnoses, and luckily found a psychologist who believed me, so with EMDR I was able to heal some of the trauma, though not all. Soon I will start with longer, and more intensive therapy with a specialized psychologist.
In the first 2 years or so after I'd met my twin flame, I constantly switched between source consiousness (with egodeaths) and extreme depression and trauma. I had suicidal thoughts for 2,5 years. I was constantly being controlled by the desires of my twin (who's energy was pushed into my system, which made me feel like a puppet on strings). At other times also go through a kundalini activation, with egodeaths, the kriya's and energetic vomiting, egodeaths, etc. I think I was shown visions of a past life (which were horrendous), to show me what I needed to learn, as a kind of intervention. One night, when my suicidal thoughts were most extreme, my phone fell on the floor by itself, and I saw 1:44 am on its clock (44 had become the number for "everything is going to be all right; hold on; we're with you"). Half a year later, again during a very depressive period, I saw 2 cars on the road, one with 444 on its licence plate, and the other "geluk" (which is the Dutch word for "happiness"). Another year later, I saw my ex at a festival, and the same evening when I was doing duolingo on the dancefloor, instead of showing the streak number after I had done the excercises, duolingo first showed the number 4444 for one second. Again: "all will be well". Weird, right? Well, I stood nailed to the dancefloor. However, I was in such a mess, that I needed this encouragement. I could barely hold on otherwise.
In the first half a year of my kundalini activation, I experienced the craziest psychic stuff. The numbers were very intense (sometimes more than 30 times a day).

Add:

- telling past life story to a friend, and story from a psychic, as well as my own book idea --> kundalini activated and 4444 EVERYWHERE --> YES!
--> my guides showing me my pattern
- channeling for a guy I'd never met
- moving energies through body
- lowering and increasing frequency, and automatically feeling the corresponding emotions ("manic" or "heavy").
- and of course: feeling everything my twin felt.

In this blog, I will not share things chronologically, since too much has happened in the last 3,5 years since I met my twin. I would just like to share memories, in bits. So, it may be a bit chaotic, but I will try to stick to one memory in one blog at the time :)

I will not share the VERY personal stuff, because I don't want people to find my site and recognize me.